How Can I Tell My Parents that I am in Love With an Older Man?

While it is quite common to see younger women dating older men these days, many people are still not comfortable with such a relationship. After all, we are brought up to believe that people with big age differences are not compatible, despite numerous examples to the contrary. So the moment you find that you are in love with an older man, you will begin to worry about how to tell your family.

An age difference of less than ten years usually doesn’t matter. Most people won’t even give it a thought, because that falls within their acceptable range. But its’ when the difference is more than ten years that parents really take notice. If your parents are like any normal parents, they may express their opposition outright or find other ways to let you know that they are not happy about it.

So how can you tell your family that you are in love with an older man? Parents always have their children’s best interests in their heart. They may believe that the older man is only using you for sex and will dump you as soon as he gets tired of you. They may not wrong in their assumption because that’s what happens in a lot of cases. So do not expect it to be easy.

Unless your parents are themselves a couple with a big age difference (in which case you can tell them right away), there will be no easy way to tell them. The best approach is to let them in on the secret gradually. Give them hints that there may be something afoot. When they ask you, give them evasive and ambivalent answers. Keep them guessing until the right time.

Hiding your man from your parent’s simply won’t do. They will be far less likely to accept your relationship with a man they know nothing about that with a man they are acquainted with. So introduce him to them. Let them know that you are very close and have a special friendship. Tell them things that show him show him in a positive light, such as what a gentleman he is, how good and honest he is, how well he treats your and other people, how talented he is, and things like that.

The process should be gradual, but not too slow. Otherwise, your parents might think there is nothing going on between the two of you, which will not work in your favor. They should know that he is somehow in your life, that you highly value his friendship, and that he is not going anywhere. When they express their fears and reservations (they inevitably will), you should reassure them that they have absolutely nothing to worry about.

He should gradually be seen to be playing an increasingly larger role in your life so that they will become comfortable with the idea of your being with him. Once that happens, you can go ahead and tell them that you are dating and that you are serious about each other. By that time, they will probably have made up their mind and accepted it as fait accompli. This the road young girls looking for older men often take and things usually end up happily for them.

Leave a comment